clock is ticking

the clock is ticking and its getting later and later in the night, yet, I find my self here, in my kitchen with a list of tings to do longer then my table and my hours filled to the brim tomorrow, all good things, all still busy.
I remember reading a church book once where the writer talked about how hard it was to pull her self away from her written schedule and lists of things to do one morning, she just needed some time to talk with her husband but the list and schedule before her were all consuming....in a light bulb type moment, she was able to see past the list and realize her husband needed her.
At the time I read the book I couldn't imagine what kind of mom could be so extremely busy that she was so obsessed over a list of to do's and a schedule of how to do her "to do's", now I get it. My mind is racing but my body wants rest, I am losing my voice and my head feels separated from my body ( you know like when you are pregnant and nothing seems to quite connect like it should?) its like my body is shouting TAKE A BREAK DUMB BELL! I am not complaining, really I am not. every thing I do, I enjoy and all of it is for my family, church and friends. I just keep trying to figure out how to be super woman....it must be possible or thats what I tell myself, it must be possible to do every thing I need to, but how?
so here I am late on a Monday night, with the clock ticking, a messy house, a trip to pack for since we are leaving at 5 a.m on Wednesday, and every hour already spoken for tomorrow. do I stay up late and just get it done, knowing I wont get to bed until a ridiculous hour and be even more tired tomorrow? do I try to sleep with my brain swimming and hope it works out? did I mention we got a new car today? yeah we did, it feels awesome! of course not at all as an after thought are the people I love who are going through hard things. how can I help them? how do I let them know I love them? they need to know! what to do?? yet stressing about situations helps no one....hmmm....thats it, all I got..

B-I-G week end

this weekend was crazy, I ran hard and fast every hour I could. BUT I think in the end it all worked out! I thought a few pictures of my adventures might be good.....the cup cakes are from the PTA dessert spread Elizabeth and I did, those cup cakes were some of my favorite, white chocolate with white chocolate chips and a hint of orange.....YUM!

the Band was AWESOME at the "B-I-G" party, my mother in law said she could hear it at her house and that her and the kids were dancing in their front yard...they live four blocks away!

soccer was intense and awesome! The general R.S meeting was AMAZING! and none of it could have happened with out great friends who not only participated in it all but spent the day here friday cleaning my house. LACEY, TIFFANY AND ELIZABETH, and the R.S Hillcrest ward presidency got me through this week with only a few minor melt downs...no tears. WHEW! glad its done....I tired to enjoy the ride, the crazy thing is that even with all these pictures I dont have pictures of the cupcakes all rolling off the board on the ride over to the school or the pumkin bars that gots smahed, the primary activity, the birthday party we went to....and belivie it or not tons of other things that we did this week. I am so ready for our trip to see great friends and family in utah!!!

too tired.

today I just feel tired, but life is marching full speed ahead, I know if I don't jump in line things will get messy fast, so any one have any ideas for how to get a pick me up with the energy level? cause I need some...

If you drive by my house on any given day.....

If you drive by my house on any given day you will probably find my children destroying my garage...in the name of inventing. Of course for over two years now the obsession has been with building a plane to fly to far off destinations. recently it has turned into a hobby for any reason, just the reason of inventing, is a good excuse to dig through our house and our neighbors house, the two garages and cars to find any random object that could add to the invention.

you can't tell in this picture but the girls planned for everything on their plane trip. coats for cold Alaska, swimsuits for the beach, cameras for Disney land, scriptures for the Utah potion of the trip, crayons for the long haul over to Washington D.C to see aunt Becky and then home they would come. They had me light the back of their invention with a sparkler.....they were all so angry when it didn't work, I think olivia cried. So time after time I find things like this out side, I am so glad they can use their brains to get creative and have fun....to dream...just don't open the garage....its straight up embarrassing after day in and day out of inventing!

that my days may be lengthened....

Anyone who knows me, knows that I like to be busy, some might say insanely busy, but I am learning this is how I function most efficiently AND when I am busy, I am happier too! This last year however, has seemed to take my busy schedule to a whole new level. A good example would be today:
I got up early, cleaned my TRASHED front half of the house, got kids up, packed lunched, managed and hour long melt down with a positive attitude ( a miracle I am still feeling good about) off to school, out for an hour walk, home again to finish cleaning, worlds quickest shower- I EVEN washed my hair) and was dressed in less then ten minutes so I could have my training meeting for Relief society stuff and here I am an hour later with 45 minutes to bust out a bunch of laundry, mop a floor and run to get jack from school. But the point is... I have been able to do every thing I needed to do on time and with a good mind set and its not even noon yet.

But one problem has been in the front of my mind, and the thoughts go some thing like this:

" I am busy, that's o.k, no more complaining.... time to embrace it...but are the most important things getting attention??? reading to the kids, playing a good board game, walks to the park.....the memory building things that bring us close together....am I so busy I forget to pray or enjoy the wonderful life I have??? is the schedule running me........or am I running it??And Mike... poor mike... am I being the wife he really deserves??"

I know a few wonder women in my life, these are people I know well enough to know that its not just smoke and mirrors, they just are beyond amazing. I have often wondered how they stayed busy ( like I am becoming) and yet made the most important things get done....and then I figured out a secret they had not shared with me!! AHHH HAHAHAHA. ( my evil laugh)

in Helaman 7; 24 it says:

.....there fore the Lord will be merciful unto them: yea he will lengthen out their days...

It occurred to me that in my most " with it" times, when I am working hard to do all I can- the right way before God, That I have been able to "magically" get every thing done even when it seemed impossible to do so. This very thing I knew could happen, but seemed more like a random moment in my life experience then the normal every day occurence. this concept of leangthening days is talked about a few times in the scriptures, the concept is not new and the Lord blesses those who are doing his work with this blessing when needed. This is the secret those wonder woman may or may not understand they have going for them...

So my prayers are not for a longer day, I realize my days are not going to have extra hours or minutes on the clock, but maybe the Lords way of "lengthening your days" is helping you to focus, or get through when you need to with a little extra speed, so that the very most important things in life can be done. Maybe Its the fact that a call which normally takes 15 minutes takes 2 or that you can seem to get a good shower and dressed in less then ten minutes instead of the normal 25.

I believe with all my heart if I continue to seek him and do his work, keeping my priorities with my family and home, that i will be able to be blessed with the amount of time I need to get all things done and in order not leaving out the best parts of life but enjoying them to their fullest!

so when I sat down for training this morning and the sweet sister across from me prayed "that my days might be lengthened" I almost fell off the couch, how funny she knew exactly where I was and what I needed. Got to love being a member of the Lords church! =)

its a sick party

on tuesday night there was peace and calm in the Heller home.....until 2 a.m, at which point mike started throwing up....an hour later joey did, and hour after that jack did...and by 4 a.m we were in the t.v room watching cartoons while I cleaned up mess after mess. soon I discovered that Olivia had been throwing up all night ALL over the house! Instead of getting me or attempting to clean it, she just picked her sick self up and found a new spot to sleep. great.

The craziest thing was when I posted it on face book ( becuase the world does NEEDED to know the hellers are sick! LOL) I had over 5 families which we hung out with this weekend had come down with the SAME junk the SAME night!! which is so sad, but in my little mind, a bit of a relief since originally I thought maybe I had cooked something weird and given my family food poisioning! since we got so sick, so close to the same time as each other.

I didn't feel awesome ethier but I was trying hard to keep up, until lunch time. It hit me and hit me hard. at one point I couldn't even walk from our hall bathroom to joeys bed where I was trying to escape the rest of the house by sleeping in a random place, it worked until I found joey throwup in the bed...

Thank heavens for mother in laws! mike called and she came to the rescue, bringing gatorade, popsicles and a dinner fit for a yucky tummy! it was a very rough day, but with out her it would have been so much harder!

around 8 P.m we were all feeling better but not all the way, and we were all asleep for the night. today is better, but we are exhausted. so the kids are staying home, I will be disinfecting EVERYTHING and working on the gross mountian of laundry. so glad we got over it all at once, even if it was one of the hardest days the hellers have been through in a while....

the longest b-day ever...

SOME body in my family really knows how to stretch a good thing for every last inch of goodness, SOMEBODY in my family had not just 1...2....3.....but FOUR parties in her honor, at least one of which- she turned a movie night into her "birthday party" with out letting her parents know, and called and invited people, luckily we caught it after two calls.....SOMEBODY in my family is the sweetest and most helpful girl around, we call her " little mommy and she just turned 7!

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the first one was at moms house two Sundays ago, second was the movie night-turned party- then her ACTUAL birthday on Sunday and now today with the class celebration..I added a couple extra of the Friday event because the cake turned out so good, I couldn't resist! she wanted a "doughnut" birthday...so today I took her class doughnuts and for her cake I made a HUGE doughnut...flavor you ask? she wanted "confetti cake (which I turned into a white chocolate cake) and then cream cheese frosting with smashed oreos"