I have been doing a lot of thinking. I mean, I am not on the PTA, don't have a calling, my only
Scentsy clients live hundreds of miles away, school started, so my kids are having fun with out me all day....so I have time to think. I mean don't get me wrong, moving, moving
dev's family and trying to help out where I can keeps me busy..but not busy enough to stop the endless thoughts...
This week I wondered if I was going through some sort of early mid-life crisis...HAHA, I promise I am not over dramatic. =) BUT then I had a great thought pop into my mind (sure it was heaven sent) " look around you, stop worrying about who you are and what your doing with your time, look around you and enjoy what you find" Basically I received, in the form of a thought, a heaven sent treasure hunt.
You know what I found? that angels happen to walk among me. I mean when I lay it out, just the facts I have known and I daily interact with angels. they are angels because they have been through crazy things, hard thing, sometimes all in one week, yet they view them selves as regular people, sometimes they wonder if they will get a break, but they never think highly of themselves and they keep pushing forward even when it seems like the bricks keep getting thrown at them. here are some of the people I thought of and observed this week:
- I know a woman who in well into here later years of life, yet she works, takes care of family hours outside her home, has children in there thrityies depending on her and living with her, raises a grand daughter and fights serious health issues that she would never complain about...angel? I think so.
- I know a woman who was abused as a teenager in the worst ways, was pregnant young ( too young) fought through the abuse and hard pregnancy only to get married then divorced and endure hours of hard counselling and deep seeded fears -but grew to be a triumphant as any person could be, started life again only to get thrown more curveballs then she could count with her second baby, who has been in the hospital most of his life, she is going to home with a full ICU unit and a night time nurse just to get her through a day....can you image being this kind of person? I can't....she is an angel.
-I know a woman who has fought being disabled her whole life, lonely at times, sick and in the hospital more then any of us can count, once so sick that she literally had the option to let go and move to this next life, or choose and stay...honestly, I don't know why she stayed, life for here is not great.. after hours of thinking about her and her life I concluded she stayed for the rest of us, and even more for those who are touched by her that I don't even know...angel? for sure.
-I know a girl who has fought surgery after surgery trying to get an unknown problem fixed in her leg, she endures hours of pain, it hurts her to kneel to pray, yet she spread love and joy every where she goes...angel? YOU BET.
-I know a woman who takes care of all her children in every way, feeding them, clothing them, providing breaks from the daily stress of their lives, she even gives up her very house so her children can be more comfortable, she fights the fight with them, giving them courage to keep going..angel? I think so.
-I know a man who watches over three of the people whom I have spoken, he is gentle and kind. he works hard as he possibly can day in and day out, the whole time battling with his very own deamons ( don't we all have them?) wondering if he will ever be able to be everything he needs to be...and he is already...angel? uh huh..
- and the wife to the man above? you think she is just sitting down letting it all come around? nope she fights harder, gives more then any one I have ever seen. she fights until its not humanly possible to fight any more, takes a SMALL break and fights again...angel.....you better believe it.
Most of these are in my family...strong courageous people who fight seemingly impossible battles each day, while thrown the other curve balls of life, sometimes yelling in frustration, but usually just digging their heels in and taking it head on. they give all they can to every one they see. But there are so many in my life I have not named, I could write a book of the angels I know and it wouldn't be a short book!
I feel humbled to be near them, and sometimes unworthy to be counted among them as they fight and give and keep living with the only desire being to live a life worthy of making it back to live with their Heavenly Father. I love them and my prayer as I watch them, is that I might be more like them and that maybe someday they will see just what they truly are...angels.
