she tapped out...she can't help you....

This weekend was a wonderful week end! Most of Saturday and Sunday was spent in our pj's all cozy in our blankets on our couch eating special treats and listening to the inspired words of our Church leaders...it was general conference weekend! In between the Sunday morning session and the afternoon session, olivia and Mike started a wrestle mania! the rule was, if you tapped out, you could not help any one else in the wrestling craziness.... Olivia is usually our head strong fighter. She NEVER taps. She always "wins". I didn't see it happened, but she tapped today, at some point she decided to do something unusual, give in. She was the first out of the fight. Poor jack. Did he ever have a chance? From the other room I hear Jack yell " HELP ME OLIVIA!! HELP ME!" and in return his dad shouts ( very dramatically if you can imagine that) " she tapped out...she CAN'T help you" Of course that was it and jack gave up.. It got me thinking about this weekend. Here I have been sitting and loving every moment of guidance and inspiration that comes, but what now? Of course I tell my self I am going to read and re-read my notes, I will be a better person, a miraculously changed woman and mother and wife.....really? SO, how has that worked for me in the past?? yeah. If life is like one big wrestle mania, never knowing what is going to come at me or how hard it might hit me in the face or twist my leg, how can I take what I learned this weekend and actually use it?? I know that some days I am like Olivia, I just tap, I shouldn't , but I do. I wonder if on those days, there was inspiration or prompting I needed to receive, but didn't. Maybe I had a friend who was silently saying prayers, and my Heavenly Father who couldn't rely on me..he had to find other ways because I just...tapped.

So here it is. I am not going to give up on the idea that change for the better is coming my way. I want to believe in myself enough to think I will be doing some changes. The person I saw outlined in conference this weekend was worth fighting to be. But the most important thing I got out of this weekend, was to use what I learned in the talks to help me not to tap out . To use those inspiring words to strengthen me when my hand is ready to hit the floor. Then get up and keep fighting! Because, I never want to be the one who can't help...because I just tapped.