auditions

Well I have not know what the heck to write for several days now. this whole thing has been so much more emotional then I ever anticipated, so what to write? We went up Tuesday to get our wrist bands, right after I picked up the kids from their first day of school. About twenty minutes from the park the car started making crazy noises and we didn't even know if we would make it home! we ended up driving around San Francisco searching for a mechanic, of course there were not too many open after 5:30, so we were able to get a guy as he was closing the doors to at least diagnose it and tell us we probably wouldn't make it home. so we got our wrist band and decided we should eat, except on our way to the pizza place up the street a cop stopped us and told us it was dangerous where we were and we should get to our car immediately and get out of there....so with a couple of prayers, driving super slow, stopping a lot and a few adventures along the way we finally made it home at 11;30.

On wednesday I was tired and anxious for the next day, my sweet friend called to tell me she has some things come up and she could no longer go with me to auditions. I spent most of the day a emotional wreck trying to get the courage to go all alone. Of course my hero came to the rescue and mike called me at 7 p.m to let me know he had talked to his boss and he would be coming along with me!

thursday we woke up at 4:30 a.m. already exhausted from all the emotional hoopla and a few weeks of sleep less nights ( which don't seem to be going away any time soon) we hopped in the car and headed to San Fran. We got there around 7:30 we ended up in "section 4" of the line. we were told and estimated 10,000 people came to the auditions! we got into the stadium right after 8, there were camera every where and the crowd was all jazzed up, bo bice came and sang we will rock you, it was a fun atmosphere! not TOO many crazies, not as many as you might think. a lot of singing in the corner and glee groups braking out in happy singing. the bathrooms were crazy with singers and make up touch ups. Of course we thought it would be cold, its san fran on the ocean!! its always cold....except on Thursday! it was HOT HOT HOT. mikes face got fried! we really just hung out and waited until 5:15 when our sections got called down. They lined us up in rows of 4 and sent us to wait in lines by a tent. when it was our rows turn I got about 10 seconds, they never cut me off they let me Finnish what I had prepared. but our whole line was cut. the two girls next to me where confident and amazing singers, but they got cut to, in fact the one girls tried begging, saying she had been to all 6 audition locations and not made it!! as soon as you are cut, they cut off your wrist band and you walk directly out the stadium.
honestly the actual moment was such a blur, I know I was on pitch, but not that loud, and i know I knew when she called us all forward it was a no..which is what she said " its a no".

So then the emotions came, totally unexpected. I thought I would feel so proud of my self but honestly I just felt tired and emotional. I still cant seem to work through it all in my head. I think I am glad I did it. I think if they came back next year I might try just for the heck of it. but I can't seem to figure out what to do with my self, which is strange since I always have so much going on...and obviously I have an amazing life. The pinnacle of the emotions was when I got home and the kids had made a sign. they just couldn't understand why their mom didn't make it. So yeah. there you go. I wish I had something amazing and strong to say...but I just dont. maybe tomorrow... I will post the pictures tomorrow to for those of you who haven't seen them on face book.