"stretch, reach, for that kind of disciple ship that can take you far beyond where you thought you could go." (Neal A. Maxwell, in a BYU Idaho devotional, feb 6th, 2000)

This morning I listened to the devotional on BYU T.V. , I am SO grateful to have this channel back in our home. It really does help me to feel so much more connected to our church and our leaders. As I listened to this beautiful devotional I found my heart yearning to be better, to reach higher. Elder Maxwell spoke of our life and the trials we have here, he taught that we must understand that this life should not be looked at in a negative light- but- with an attitude of learning; because this life is what will teach us the ways of the master, it is our class room.

I can not sit here in our new home with our three beatiful children and NOT acknowledge The Lords hand in our life. he has blessed us so abundantly, I can clearly see this right now, and I am grateful for the gift of seeing the blessings, sometimes I think that can be a hardest part of it all..just seeing and recognizing what he has given us instead of feeling overwhelmed and alone. when we see clearly our many blessings, life does not feel near as overwhelming. when I don't see my blessing I feel hurt, sad and lonley, right now I feel like a light has been turned on! before I sat scared and frustrated in the dark and when I light came on I could see I was in a beautiful safe place with so many people who love me. when my eyes are open and my heart is soft, I am always amazed at what he has done for me. I am looking forward to reaching a little farther and higher and seeing just where I can go!

to young, yet too old.

If you know my 6 year old you know that she is too old for her britches, but in o.k ways. she doesn't like boys or want a cell phone or any thing like that. But she understands things, and that changes her interests for example: she has become fascinated with facebook lately.

She will search my friends list and look up people she knows; Then, she checks out their pictures, and the last two days she has started writing little notes to some of them. My favorite thing she does is when she stands over my shoulder reading every ones status..that can get scary depending on the person...and then reads what I say to them.... out loud, it's lovley. ( not a hint of sarcasam AT all)

All this is cute, and maybe I will consider letting her have her own face book with a very few friends... we shall see. So today as she was writing Happy Halloween to some one I remembered a funny facebook/ olivia story:

the other day I was texting a friend back and forth who wanted to come over and see our new puppy- olivia asked what I was doing so I told her what we were talking about. I said to her " I told her the other day she could come over and see angie" she says back to me very authoritative like.." I KNOW, I read that on facebook"

ahh, I just love my 6 year/25 year old daughter, I have been laughing for weeks over that.

8 years....

Today is a big day. Mike and I have been Married for 8 years! Its funny how time changes your perspective on life, the first few years of marriage were so care free in many ways, we traveled and did as we pleased, nothing but a job tied us to any place. I am so grateful for those years, we went to Hawaii, new york, Virgina, Nauvoo, Montana and so many places in between. It was fun to travel with my best friend. At that time, when I would be out with girl friends and they would say they had been married for 7 years or more I would think " I can't even imagine that, its so far away!" . Here we are.

Today's celebrates 8 years that Mike and I have been married. I know that 8 years is not very long in the grand scheme, and yet in today's twisted society I feel very grateful that we have been so successful and happy together.

Our adventures have changes these days, we no longer travel to crazy places on a whim, but our adventures are crazy, hard and fun all the same. They stretch us and bring us closer together. Now days we enjoy the feeling of calm after a crazy day, we love the laughter of our three little angels, we have a hard time teaching our baby to sleep in his bed because he is just to fun to cuddle with. We talk for hours about out ya ya and how smart and stubborn she is. We worry about our sweet sweet jack who is so incredible and yet struggling. We feel motivated to get out into the world in a real way and make a difference, we worry about the future of our country. We fight together as the world tries to tear us apart through Satans distractions. Knowing the whole time that its our duty to keep our marriage and little ones safe. But WE do it all together, sometimes the roles change and we have different parts to play, but neither of us would enjoy life with out the other being in every part of it.

Michael, is my best friend, my confident. He is the person I want to be with at all times of the day. He is the one who can lift me up higher then any one else, just by a look or a hug. He is the one person who knows all my quirks, understands my goofy sense of humor, and who respects me even if no one else does. He protects me and helps me reach out side of my comfort bubble. I am better because of him.

Thank you Mike for these first few years, I can not wait to see what forever will bring us! I love you.

and waiting....

We were supposed to close on our house between the 10-15th of september. But after a meeting with the lender they are hopeful for "sometime next week". So thats that update. That may be all I can say right now.

My kids are great! Soccer keeps us pretty busy but they both love it. Livy is averaging two goals a game which is awesome for her! She is doing great in school. two fridays ago she was student of the week and last friday she got sudent of the month for her class!! we went and watched the assembly, but some one (me) forgot the camera. she was so cute thoguh, the littlest one up there. WE could not be more proud of her.

Jack enjoys soccer, or at least being on the field with every one and watching them play! lol. so I am happy to have him doing something. he is in preschool and I enjoy seeing his creative side come out. he is even learning to read a bit. SO PROUD! He tells the best stories I have ever heard complete with crazy facial expressions. The other day we got to cook all day together I told him I was the chef and he was my assistant.

Joey ( our little Lion) doesn't speak any baby talk yet, not even mama or dada...he just growls and ROARS- literally. You say lion..he roars. its pretty funny. He can get into the fridge now. so I have lost three glass jars of food in the last two days, tile and glass just don't seem to get along very well. He has four teeth. two on the top and two on the bottom. He is so happy ALL the time. we laugh and laugh at him. We recently figured out that he seems to have the gluten intorerance just like Jack. So its been interesting to find baby gluten free crackers ( thank you walmart!)

Mike is doing great in Law school, he is tired, BUT he loves it and I think its going really well for him. we are so proud of him and all the hard work he is doing so that our family can have a good life.

So there it is a little update from the Hellers. busy and hopefully moving soon. But life is good and I feel so grateful for the many many blessing we do have, I am grateful for my amazing family.

a few pictures...

Since we switched all our pictures to this computer I can finally show all of you what we have been up to! It kind of been the Olivia show around here for the last month, here are some pictures from here birthday! carianne took some better ones so once I get them from her again I will share them! =) Devery and I stayed up till' 2 in the morning laughing and frosting and re-frosting the cake, thanks dev! but...It was fun to have olivias birthday in the same park at the same table that I had my 6 year old party at too.so weird how life ends up working out some times =) . We played soccer and then opened presents and had cake. I am always amazed at how well Mike handles large groups of children, he really is an amazing man. THANK YOU Every one who came and shared this special day with such an amazing little lady.

fudge/cookies

Tonight I learned something about my self. If it says the words cookie and fudge on the package, I probably already love it. For example, chips ahoy just had these limited edition fudge center cookies, apparently they were VERY limited because after just one lovely purchase from the Malwart, I can't find them any where!!

Its all about the fudge. Mmmmm. Plus, for some reason I tie chips ahoy cookies with memories of my gandma, she would buy them for me on long days out on the town. so I love them more then their quality really should allow.

But really, as a scanned the isles of Target, I realized its all about the fudge center. I just can't say no to a cookie with a fudge center.And might I just add that this is the kind of quality blog I send out when I blog at 12:30, good night folks!

not gone, just busy...

WELL, as any one who keeps track of me might have noticed, I have been missing from the internet world. Our computer showed up with a blue screen two weeks ago and we can't turn it on till we can move all of our pictures....so I have been computer/internet less for almost two weeks. the crazy thing is that we have been so busy I have not missed it. BUT the play and bithday s have all finnished and the family has come and gone =(. so now it is on to the moving....hopefully soon. we are ready to get on with it! hope fully we will close the end of next week. so keep us in your prayers!! as the days slip by and our closing date moves further and further back, I am going a little more crazy- which is not good for any one!lol.

Birthday invites

Here are yaya's b-day invites I think they turned out good! Hope ya'll can make it!

today was a big day for jack, mike and mom

Today was a huge day! Mike turned 30. It's funny how at one point in your life that seemed so old and now here we are and I think, But we are SO young! =) Mom Also celebrated her Birthday to today! My sweet Jack had his first day of preschool. I didn't get any pictures because we were running around cleaning up a huge breakfast of cinnamon/nutmeg waffles topped with ice cream, home made strawberry jam, bananas, whipped cream and chocolate pieces!! it was YUMMY. But he had a blast and when the day finally quieted for a few hours, Jack took the time to revisit the waffles for lunch. I was sitting next to him reading when I looked up to find him sleeping just like this. I love this wonderful little man. We had a rough day yesterday- but since school has started, him and I have grown so close. He protects me and gives me hugs and kisses, he tells the best stories and has the most amazing imagination. I am never cease to be amazed at how smart he is either. He and his brother are becoming best friends. I love my Jack I am so grateful for this year with him before he starts kindergarten!

When I was downloading this picture I found one of Joey doing the same thing the other night so I had to add it...to funny!

gossip and truth

just to clarify a couple of things in my own mind I looked up two words:

Gossip: (n)
1. a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts 2: rumor or report of an intimate nature 3: an informal conversation- gos-sipy adj.
Taken from page 312 of the Merriam-webster Dictionary

TRUTH: (n)
1: truthfullness, honesty 2: the real state of things:FACT 3: the body of real events or facts: ACTUALITY , correctness.
taken from page 769 of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary

There are a few more words that could be defined, but, today I was simply reminded that if we all told the truth in love (which happens to be one of my favorite statements) life would be all the better. Someday I will write a book on lies, why we tell them- how they are the center of all things bad. why do you think the scriptures refers to Satan as " the father of all lies"? because if there were no lies, our lives would be drastically different in a way I don't know most of us even comprehend.

Just as an experiment as your self if you are 100% truthfull all the time, Then ask you self when you lie? and why? yeah they be little but WHY do you do it?? The answer is usually interesting an d I think we would find most of the time if we would awnser with love, we could stop lying and our lives and those around us would change completly.

the clock keeps ticking, I keep running and wondering if I am doing anything well enough to be worth the it....My self talk is all over the place, negative and then completely opposite. I tell my self I now have the privilege of learning to be a mom who has correct priorities and yet manages to do everything else that people ask of her and do those things some how beautifully. I always admired women who seems to have this talent.

The problem is I am defiantly not there, and while I am learning to be more positive, I wonder if its possible to do what I keep telling myself I am doing. SO to all you high functioning super women out there, I would love suggestions because literally every hour of my every day is booked. When I blog or jump on face book, its because I am stealing time that I should have been using for something else.
Like right now, I just got home from stake play practice where I did a costume check for the entire cast- before play practice I had an enrichment committee meeting at my house, I should be working on Olivias b-day invites because I need to get them out tomorrow, but instead I am doing this. Mike will be here shortly to do the next round of errands......

So how do I life life a little more effectively? is getting up Early the key to this? are there foods that help with my energy lever? ( I am not talking red bull or anything like that. I am talking fruits veggies and grains) I don't know- but as I work move along in life, I guess I can look forward to learning the super secrets of the super mom! even if the only secret is to hold on, run fast, don't yell and enjoy the journey.

1st day of soccer!!

Last night was our very first soccer practice for both Jack and Yaya. They both did really well and Yaya even scored a goal! They were so cute and came home so happy. Jack told me " mom, I think I like you, I will never run away!" so I think that meant he was feeling good about life after soccer. it was pretty funny.

NOW WHAT?

any ideas?

How do you help some one break out of their shy shell?? at home Olivia is a funny loud bossy sweet little "mom". At school she is the perfect student, listens to every direction, but she won't say a word, she is alone at the play ground because the thought of speaking to some one even people she knows is so hard and overwhelming for her that she just wanders quietly. She loves school ,s he enjoys the challenge intellectually, but, with in a month she will refuse to go because the social part of school is just to much.
I can already see in just a week we are headed the same place as last year ( which was NOT good) so how can I provide an alternate route for her to travel? How do I help her? any ideas because I it coming and I just know there has to be a way to help it, maybe not even totally fix but HELP it be a better year.

it's in his blood....

I have three children, all of whom I have hoped would love music the way I do. Olivia seems to like the idea of playing an instrument and she sings very well. Jackson LOVES music, his pitch is off but he loves it so much that his passion for it sucks you right in. Joey obviously is a little too little to know exactly but I will say this, he is OBSESSED with the piano. Pianos of all kinds and sizes he loves them all. yesterday I heard some playing that didn't sound familiar, this is what I found....

Joeys first hair cut

Before the hair cut







A few days ago we started noticing that our sweet little Joey looked greasy all the time. He just looked like he hadn't had a bath in weeks at all times of the day. So with a little encouragement by mike, we decided on sunday to give him his first hair cut. I was reluctant only because Its a sign that my little baby is getting big. Mike held him, I cut, Olivia took the pictures and Jackson sat by the boys feeling like he was important. Joey did really well, of course he kept plenty busy- he played with a hair comb, sucked on the water bottle and ate the ties on my scrubs, and at the end he yelled a little( I think just for fun!) Olivia did a great job capturing the moment.

FIRST GRADER GIRL

Today was yaya's first day of school. I was worried about her, but she was SO excited I could hardly believe it, she walked so fast to her class room we couldn't even keep up. I love the fact that she wore sneakers, it completely describes her. Only she would wear them when it is so hot outside, she hates sandals I think she thinks they are to girly. lol. It was a bit emotional for me to know that she is officially starting her education. I hate that fact that she will be with her teacher more hours then at home, but she seems to have a good class and a great teacher so at least I can take comfort in that.

a few more hours left...

School starts monday. Part of me is SO ready for it to start, but most of me is not. Unfortunately I think school and the unbend-able schedule that comes with it is exactly what the Dr. ordered for the crazy heller house hold. we need some structure back in our lives. Livy got the teacher she wanted, the clothes are laid out and this year I even have a car to get her there. Only a few more hours.....

Time to get organized..

Well I better be out with it. we made an offer on a house, hopefully it will close the end of september! until then, its time to get organized.....

rate books?

I have come to a cross roads in my life. A place where I choose all sorts types of books, from the intriguing fiction to a biography and my favorite are the ones that study out human nature and our emotions. But I am tired of getting cozy to read what I think is a great book only to be shocked by language or explicit scenes. I don't want to skip entire paragraphs or pages to enjoy a story line. Most often it happens Just as I am entrenched in the story and 200 pages into the book..its is so frustrating that I am left to wonder if I am sinning by the continuation of reading or if I am being ridiculous in my expectations that there can be a book written in recent years ( other then twilight) that is clean. So I ask all of you...is there any kind of web site where books are rated?? I mean Like my favorite web site www.kidsinmind.com which tells you whats in each movie. If not prehaps I have just found my new life calling becuase I think we should have ratings on every cover of a book before you open it just so we know what your getting into. we don't sit down to a movie with out knowing this why do I want to read and fill my mind with unclean words? I am excited to hear feed back.

Pressure cooker

Ever feel like a pressure cooker? you are running so hard, so fast and so many big things are coming at you that you are just sure at some moment the lid will just all blow off and your done!?! Sometimes this is how life gets for me. I want to do every thing and do it perfect, and yet I am always learning again and again I am not going to be able to. The only way this pressure cooker will keep providing good food ( or what would also be known as a great life) for those it loves and not over done food will be with the constant help of my Heavenly Father, I sure am glad I know he's there... I know that no matter how crazy things get, He is there and he loves me and he really loves my children, so if we are doing whats right- that pressure can just keep coming, we will get through it and I have no doubt we also will know how we did it to, not alone, but with a power much greater and wiser then our own.

water park

One of the kids favorite things to do is go to the water park here in town. Kids love it, moms hate it because its HOT and there is no shade. So while your kids are getting wet and having fun you sit in the sun getting sweaty, and its usually busy enough that if moms were to play too, it would get to crowded. The kids were OBSESSED with drinking the water, but then it occurred to me I think that I had heard they recirculate the water...gross. So we pulled out the water bottles after that. But we went last week, so here are a few pictures of the kids enjoying them selves.

can't tell....

Today I had a very busy morning and it won't be slowing down any time soon! However, I would rather it be busy than slow. I have some very exciting news ( maybe), but I can't share it! Because it is not a for sure thing, and I don't want share until I know for sure. So stay tuned........

Joey is going through my pantry right now, I love him crawling! lol.

Jackson is............. we love him.

Olivia has decided maybe she would like to be in the stake play, so we are going to talk to the director on Thursday night.

last week end we went camping....

y

Last week end we went camping, we were just gone one night- We were going to go two then decided to stick to one, We were glad we made this choice because by day two Joey decided his adventure needed to end. As you can see by his picture. =) The kids had a blast, they ran and made up fun games, found stick and got as dirty as they possibly could(literally) and of course climbed mountains which was olivia's obsession. Mike set up a grill, joey stalked around his play pin growling like a lion, and I, well, I am not sure but I felt busy! It was beautiful and fun to hang out just our family. enjoy the pictures.

Girl or teenager??

The other day I asked Olivia what she wanted for her birthday, here is the list:

Pink guitar
Skate board
Cds
batteries for her "Lap top" (its a v-tech thingy)
paints
a new desk chair

So I have been thinking about what to get her from her list and what she would want most, but then it occurred to me...don't most 5 year old girls want barbies and cute pink kitchens or something like that? I just love this girl!

then she said to me " mom I am a weird kind of girl, I am like a girl who does more boy things then girl things" I told her that she was just the right amount girl and the perfect about of cool, that when she got older the boy who married her would have quite a catch on his hands because she was girly and liked to play sports!

Its hard for her because she isn't quite like all the other girls, but I look at her and see something so amazing! so as a mom its also hard to believe she could see anything different then I do. Maybe that's how our Heavenly Father sees and feels about us...... Anyway, we are having a soccer party for her birthday, and yes she will be getting a pink guitar. I can't wait to teach her! =)

clean house

with all the changes happening in our lives these last few weeks I have not made house cleaning the top priority in my daily routine. Not that is was ever dripping with nastiness, but it wasn't sparkling either. So today I let go of any plans I had, stayed home and cleaned with my kids. Our home feels SO much better. For the first time in a while I was reminded that while I enjoy being a mom and doing fun things I also enjoy the daily chores ( even the bathrooms) that come with my life. I am blessed to have a family, for them and myself, I get to not only provide a nice house, but a home. When I am doing my best to make this home feel good, we all feel good. It seems like with a clean house come happier feelings and less stress, which makes way for more love. Life feels pretty good, when your home is clean and you are doing your best to be doing all youv'e been asked to do. Thats how I feel today and It's pretty refreshing. As I write this I hear my children singing in the next room, I love their voices!

P.S
Mike gets his car tommorow, which means I get one to! =)

no room for jack.

Today I walked into my sons room only to be shocked at what I saw before me. I really don't feel like it would be nice to share any more then I have in the past. But I decided right then and there that somthing diffrent had to be tried to get the point through his head that this is NOT O.K! It was a shot in the dark but, I could only think of one way to help him .

Since the un-named behavior seems to always occur in his room, He is officially grounded from it. He will be sleeping in the hall, and if he needs clothes he has to ask for them from his mother or sister.

I carefully explained to him that having a room filled with toys and a nice comfy bed was a big blessing in his life and that part of showing that we appreciate the things we have is by treating the well. since his recent behaviors have demonstrated a lack of respect for all he has, I suppose he can see if life is o.k with out them. I am PRAYING this works, every thing else so far has just back fired. I think of the "natural" consequence and instead of hating it, he manages to find joy in the task. While I love him for this quality, it makes fixing some problems near impossible. He is such a sweet, kind, smart little boy. I just can't figure this one out.

wish him and I luck! we both need it.

what do I do?

So I wrote a few days ago about the kids wanting to build a "real" air plane, then they got there little dreams crushed! =( it was so sad- except they are at it again. this time they have excluded mike and I, apparently we are the only thing stopping them from making it.

So I go into Olivia's room and there are chains and hammers and screwdrivers and cardboard everywhere. They spent the day rummaging through our garage to find metal to make the engine. So This is all they dream about (and talk about) and I just am not sure how to help them understand with out being the dream killer again! Any ideas on this one? I have been thinking about remote control planes and maybe building one with them, but then wouldn't that further fuel the problem? I don't even know and I am a little worried about my kitchen oven since Jack asked me today how long it takes to melt down metal.....yeah, scary.

not so bad..

This sounds goofy, but today I looked into my cupboard and I had a victory in my life!it all starts A few weeks ago when I was having a particularly stinky day. Mike, being the wonderful man he is, brought me home my favorite cookies- oreos. In the past I have been know to eat an entire bag in less then two or three days, when I am stressed, I eat. Since I am being honest here, My eating habits are pretty terrible over all. For several years now I have been working (very slowly) on improving them.

So that brings me back to my victory, I looked into my cupboard and saw a bag of oreas. I realized its been at least two maybe three weeks and we still have one more row left. So if my diet habits are based soley on Oreo consumption, I am doing pretty darn good! =)

My life has just changed....

My life has changed! today we heard a loud "BANG!" I looked quickly around only to realize Joey was no longer sitting at my feet. Yes, you guessed it, he had CRAWLED into the other room and was taking every thing off on of my shelves- having a rather good time I might add.
He just started crawling last sat. after our big shopping Trip to sacramento. Olivia was showing off her new school clothes and I went back to help her. Well Joey didn't like me leaving I guess because Mike started yelling " brigette get back here!" sure enough Joey just started crawling to follow me. He is getting quit good at it now (as you can see). So the messes begin and my life just got a little crazier!

Poor Little Hellers...

The tools, Tape, scissors, crayons, Gak ( for helping our bums stick to the seat) Measuring tape.

The rules: "No touching the plane with sticking hands","No bad words", No standing up", Be quiet when Joe is sleeping", No asking a lot of questions"




These are the mechanics!

Yesterday as we were getting ready for church Ya ya had a great Idea, Her and Jack were going to make an Airplane. Not just make a pretend one but a "real" one. All morning they planned out what it would look like, They wrote up the rules. talked about all the places they would go, Yucipa- Ca, Utah, Washington D.C, and Disneyland. They were so excited because now they could see all their family when ever they wanted. They wouldn't talk about any thing else.

Now If I can share something about my Oldest child....... She struggles with a lack of imagination. In fact it's almost as if it is just missing altogether. I have tried various things to get it to come out (I have a LARGE one, and love to pretend) I have rarely seen her do anything which is creative. Even her school art work is predictable. Its all beautiful and well done, but her imagination doesn't stretch very far.

So I was thrilled that they were planning on this and having so much fun along the way. Well my children happen to have a great dad who told them after church was over he would help them make the plane, Which he did. They spent well over an hour getting supplies cutting and taping boxes. But as the process wore on Mike and I began to give each other nervous glances because it occurred to us that our children were not pretending, they wanted this plane to fly. we weren't totally sure though, and we didn't want to kill the fun so he kept working on it with them. All through dinner the talk continued.

The first sign of trouble was when we told them we couldn't take the plane outside, and they said " how will we get it into the sky?". The next was when Olivia cried because with out wheels, how would it get off the ground? And finally I had two children sitting in my lap crying because Captain Olivia realized her plane would never take flight. They were devastated. Seriously. So after a lot of talks were were able to take an imaginary flight that lasted about ten minutes and then for the next hour and a half I told them how planes were made, what they were made of and explained to them " No, our oven won't get hot enough to melt down the t.v, screwdrivers and other metal stuff to make a plane frame, it's not made for that." amid other things.
Anyway it was quite a night. here are a few pictures during the "pretend" flying. They put on a brave face for the camera. =)